“Confidence is the ability to confide in yourself.” – James Blacker

I heard a tale of a friend of a friend who ran a social event, even though she didn’t want to, as a part of some form of confidence training. Her Confidence, her (self-)confiding, was literally telling her she didn’t want to run the event, yet she was talked into going through with it in order to ‘build confidence’. This comes back to the notion of being Self-Referral (trusting your inner Knowing), not External Referral (doing what other people tell you to do). Confidence is a Self-Referral quality.

It’s ridiculously futile – yet understandably commonplace – to believe that you can build Confidence by doing something that your inner wisdom is telling you that you don’t want to do, or don’t believe in.

What Confidence Looks Like

Confidence has no guaranteed ‘look’ in behavioural terms such as “This person speaks loudly, or wears smart clothes, or always states their opinions upfront, therefore they must be confident.”

What we can look out for, perhaps, are the tell-tale signs in someone’s eyes or mannerisms which betray a person at odds with themselves.

What our society taught us about confidence was based on behaviour and an external notion of success, rather than our own internal relationships with ourselves, our Consciousness, our self-love, our Choice! It’s time to build a new model of Confidence for society.

If you want ultimate, total self-confidence, relying on belief systems and conclusions to provide some kind of ‘safety net’ of pre-determined ways to address the upcoming moments of life isn’t the way to do it.

Confidence is a Different Thing to Competence

In order to have total self-confidence do you have to be competent at every task or activity there is in life? Of course not. Confidence has got nothing to do with competence. As long as I’m honest with myself – as long as I confide in myself – about what I can and cannot do, about what’s my truth and what’s not my truth, then I’m going to have Confidence. And so are you.

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