“Here’s my truth; make it yours!” – Approval Tyrants
The underlying message in approval is: “Here’s my truth, or even my Unconscious will, make it yours!” Whether we acquired a given self-judgement through an individual insisting that we meet their approval, or through the collective culture insisting that we meet its approval, the need to gain approval is always at the heart of a blockage. The threat itself may have long since gone, leaving only the historical Unconscious fear remaining. Often, after decades of the original fear being buried, we aren’t even aware that our motivation for doing things is seeking the approval of others.
“If you’re doing it for other people’s approval, how can it make you happy? Answer: It can’t.” – David Heard
Approval is always a two-sided coin. The ‘false positive’ sense of warmth from someone’s approval when we make ourselves a clone of them is matched on the other side of the coin by the cold pain of not feeling allowed to be ourselves, and the disapproving reaction we get when we try to choose the opposite way of being.
“Approval giveth, and approval taketh away.” – James Blacker
An emotionally secure person – whether friend or parent – has no interest in asking another person to gain their approval. Requiring another to gain our approval is always a False Self expression.