You’re probably familiar with the wake of a ship, the watery trail of disturbed water that flows out behind the ship as it moves through the water. The wake follows the boat, not the other way around. In the same way, as much as our past experiences may have been traumatic, if we’re to be effective we are invited to Respond to the here and now. This enables us to honour any relevant emotions, rather than intellectualising them.
This means something like, instead of saying “I can’t do this because this happened in the past”, we say to ourselves, “I can’t do this because … what right now is stopping me from doing this?”
It is either going to be something physical, or something emotional/psychological, or both. For example, “I can’t do this right now because … my body can’t do it.” Or, “I can’t do it because I feel too emotionally hurt or in pain.”
Intellectual freedom from self-judgement, self-constriction – having a cognitive understanding of our right to a happy and relaxed relationship to our own sexual energy and activity – can only go so far. At some point, the desire for full freedom requires the involvement of the body, and likely asking the body to release its blockages. Of course, asking our body to let things go is a good starting point.
Using Intuitive Loving Touch May Help
The Kissing Consciousness process of Intuitive Loving Touch, or ILT for short, may also help you, perhaps if you work on it with a safe and trustworthy lover.
And I would encourage you not to underestimate the power of your own ability to provide touch-based healing for yourself. You might, for example, lie on your back and rest your hand on any part of your body, sexual organs or otherwise, that you feel you’d like to bring Awareness, love and honouring to.
That may bring up emotions, but if you can hold Presence to yourself to allow yourself to be with what arises, to cry, for example, that may not need to be a big deal, and you’ll get a gain in energy and wellbeing from any releasing.
Body De-armouring
Body De-armouring, or just De-armouring, is another popular process of releasing the trauma stored in our bodies.