“Boundaries are not barriers. They are not limitations. They are Choice, in self-respect form. All boundaries are a ‘Yes’ to you, and all are positive.” – James Blacker
A Boundary is a person’s truth about the extent to which you or they are – and aren’t – happy to be spoken to, or for, touched by others, interacted with, misled, stared at or anything else that affects them in a way they don’t have personal control over, but which relates to their individual right to be both left in peace and treated fairly.
A couple of my friends shared the view that if a work colleague wanted to give them a hug at Christmas they had to accept that; it would be rude to not allow it. It’s not rude. It’s not consent.
You have a right not to be hugged or touched by anyone you don’t want to be hugged or touched by.
We can do a clearing about how you might decline a hug or ask someone not to do something in a calm and sensitive manner, but even if you don’t manage that calm state you still have the right to say “No.” The lack of Conscience is actually on the other person’s part, if they don’t respect that.