Dating Coach Tips: Nerves and ‘Butterflies’ on Dates

Here’s my dating coach tip for how to relate to our nerves. People talk about having nerves – ‘butterflies’ – on a date in the same way they might talk about something unwelcome.

If they really understood the positive quality and nature of them, though, and what the experience was prior to their learned habit of judging their nerves, they’d relate to them in a very different, perhaps completely opposite way, as something welcome and delightful, rather more like they’re having an energetic orgasm, or chocolate cake, or someone’s just given them a million pounds. It’s delicious. It’s the excitement of vulnerability.

“What if your nerves are really excitement in disguise?”

But before we get a chance to taste that we’ve already judged it, and so we don’t inhabit it, and so we don’t honour it as our Being. We experience it as a concept in our head rather than a dance in our skin and body.

Dating Coach Tip: What if your nerves are really excitement in disguise?

So rather than reject our nerves, or consider them unwelcome, maybe we can go with them, and allow them to be the excitement in disguise that they may really be!

Of course, if the body’s signals are alarm bells of a dangerous or disrespectful person, that is a different thing to Receive Awareness about.

This dating coach tip comes from my book, ‘Kissing Consciousness: Inviting in a World Beyond Self-Judgement‘.


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